Rue's News:
Insights You Can Use
for
Artful, Heartful EFT
Issue # 1 Listen to Your Self
Note: If it's Pink, it's a Link--you can click on it!
In this Issue:
Thank you for joining this thoughtful, caring community of people who are willing to dream big about what is positive and possible for our world!
In Rue's News I will tell my (and your!) stories of healing emotional and physical pain with EFT, and I will offer useful news about how you can learn to do EFT more elegantly and artfully for yourself or as a practitioner.
Together we are co-creating a rich awareness of how you can be a sensitive person AND be comfortable in your world, even if you have always heard "Oh, you are just way too sensitive!"
This is a new level of healing and sharing that puts your/our healing in your own capable hands.
Artful Heartful EFT:
How to Change Your Mind and Keep the Change
Listen to Your Self
Often I will hear, “You are so intuitive! You said just the right words to me.” Yes, I use my intuition, but what I am really doing is paying close attention to what people say, and then reflecting their own words back to them so they can hear them.
We are constantly telling ourselves the old stories about who we are and what is possible for us. Those stories are so old that we think they are the truth about us, and we have stopped questioning it. We have stopped even hearing it.
Our old stories are usually family beliefs that have been handed down through the generations. “You'll never amount to anything.” “Don't make waves. It's dangerous to be noticed.” “If it is not perfect it's not good enough/you're not good enough.”
These thoughts are familiar, well grooved neural pathways in our brains. When something happens, we know how to respond – just follow the habitual path, the writings on our walls that tell us how we are “supposed” to react.
But - we can forge new pathways!
“How can I turn something that is good into something so awful?”
Last week I got this email from a client who had just found out that she passed her Advanced EFT Certification exam, and she was suddenly panicking!
Rue,
I passed the Advanced EFT test. This is a good thing. But here is the “but”: I am all wrapped up in fear now that I know that I passed the test! Now I have to do something with it and it is very scary to me.
I have noticed that my voice is smaller now than what it was before. I don't understand that, after all the tapping that we did yesterday on finding my voice. I don't have a clue how I am going to move into doing something productive with EFT when I am such a mess myself. I am hiding and I don't like it but I am scared to move out of it. What a dilemma. Talk about being reversed.
Sometimes I just want to chuck it all. It would be easier to get a crappy job and even that is scary to me. I don't get that either. I have worked since I was 15, thirty years of it at one place, one would think that I would certainly be used to being around people. The part about asking people to be a reference for me is the worst part.
I feel like an egg beater inside with all of this emotion running around. I guess the biggest thing is that I am angry with myself because of all of this conflicting emotion. Yes, I am getting something out of all of this. I don't have to risk putting myself out there, when I don't have a clue of how to get started, and I get to stay here at home hiding from everyone but I hate it. I guess I just like sitting and whining. It makes me feel important.
I feel like the biggest mess in the whole world. I am mad at myself, I think, for all of this and for passing that test – but, I also wanted to pass it.
I went down to Hospice today to do my volunteer duties. The volunteer coordinator was on vacation, which I knew. I was supposed to use her office as always and type up the newsletter. She had all of the stuff ready for me; as she said she would, but her office was being used by other people and there wasn't anyplace for me to work, so I came home. This upset me also. I know it doesn't have anything to do with me in my head but I feel like this little kid that didn't matter again. Will I ever get over this?
Thanks for listening. How can I turn something that is good into something so awful?”
Listen to your Self
I sent back a big Congratulations (big! 72 pt font!), along with the following suggestion for tapping. When people ask how to create set up statements, I suggest that they write out, off the top of their head, everything they are thinking and feeling about their issue.
I tell them to include all the “Yes, but's...” all the “I'm mad about..., I worry about..., I am afraid to..., I am afraid that..., What if..., It makes me so sad that...” Then I divide what they wrote up into sentences and phrases. This can create perfect EFT set up statements. But you don't necessarily have to do each of these as an individual set-up statement - you could repeat a different statement at each point as you tap.
If there is a strong resonance to a particular phrase, I might keep tapping on the point we were on and talk about it with the client. Sometimes we just tap through the points while we talk. There are no rules about how to do this “right”!
This is what I sent back to my client. Note that this tapping sequence would make a perfect routine for all kinds of issues. Just slot your own issue in here...
Even though:
I am all wrapped up in fear now that I know that I passed the test...
Now I have to do something with it and it is very scary to me...
I have noticed that my voice is smaller now than what it was before...
I don't understand, after all the tapping that we did yesterday on my voice...
I don't have a clue how I am going to move into doing something productive with EFT when I am such a mess myself...
I am hiding and I don't like it but I am scared to move out of it...
I have this dilemma...
I am reversed...
Sometimes I just want to chuck it all...
It would be easier to get a crappy job and even that is scary to me...
I don't get that either...
I have worked since I was 15, thirty years of it at one place, one would think that I would certainly be use to being around people...
The part about asking people to be a reference for me is the worst part...
I feel like an egg beater inside with all of this emotion running around...
I guess the biggest thing is that I am angry with myself because of all of this conflicting emotion...
I am getting something out of all of this...
I don't have to risk putting myself out there, when I don't have a clue of how to get started, and I get to stay here at home hiding from everyone but I hate it...
I guess I just like sitting and whining it makes me feel important...
I feel like the biggest mess in the whole world and I am mad at myself I think for all of this and for passing that test...
I also wanted to pass it...
I went down to Hospice today and there wasn't anyplace for me to work, so I came home. This upset me also...
I know it doesn't have anything to do with me in my head but I feel like this little kid that didn't matter again...
I worry: Will I ever get over this?...
How can I turn something that is good into something so awful?...
...Still, I love and accept myself enough to choose ______________ instead.
I understand and forgive myself.
I am doing the best I can.
I am willing to surrender what I thought I knew to open to a deeper truth about myself.
Etc.
Step Off the Beaten Path
Our tapping together later ranged back to the source of her fear that she could never make anything of herself: her abusive family, a demanding, critical father and an angry but passive mother. The whole family history, even back through their ancestry, was about people being beaten down and then turning around to beat down those who came after them. She admitted sadly that she had even treated her own adult daughter this way as a child, and now watched with deep pain her daughter‘s treatment of her children.
As we tapped, something she said made the phrase “Step off the beaten path” pop into my head. I worked it into our tapping, thinking what a great title for a teleclass that would be. (stay tuned...!)
I could see her whole being shift as she took in the real possibility of stepping out of an old way of thinking about herself, reconsidering who she was. She may not have noticed yet, but she was starting a new story.
EFT Changes the Structure of the Brain
When this happens, EFT has actually changed the structure of the brain. It disconnects our emotional responses from our memories by interrupting the old habitual neural pathways. We still have our memories, but they take on a new meaning in our thinking. We are free to think well of ourselves if we choose to. (“Choose” is the operative word here! Remember what my client said about “getting something out of this” old restricted way of thinking about herself.)
I drew on that wonderfully evocative phrase, “Step off of the Beaten Path” again in another session a few days later. This client wanted to deal with a terrible actual physical beating that happened at the hands of her father when she was 6. It was a powerful and awful event that left her with a concussion.
She was told that she had not seen what she had seen, and did not feel what she felt, and it was her fault anyway and she did not deserve to live. She had been reliving this story and all it meant about her all her life.
We worked with EFT's story-telling technique, slowly, bit by bit, tapping for only tiny moments of the story at a time until she was able to tell each small detail in sequence without her body going rigid with terror and shutting down.
Near the end of this session, the phrase “Step off the beaten path” came into my mind again, and again I wove it in to the tapping phrases. This time I invited this client to choose a different path, and to name it in her own words.
We tapped for “Even though this happened, I choose now to step off the beaten path, and step on to my own path, where I belong, where I know that I DO deserve to live, in peace and comfort and at home in my body. That was then, and this is now.”
It was not an easy one-minute wonder session, but we both worked hard, and by the time we finished she was both radiant and thoughtful.
Choosing a Different Path
As we grow in EFT we are helping each other, all over the globe, to step off of those old beaten down, judgmental, self critical paths. We are transforming humanity's old habitually toxic neural pathways. Let's forge a new way of being human together. We can do this. We ARE doing this!
As this newsletter develops, let me know what you think. I love hearing from you, and I will read every comment you send. I'm sorry I won't be able to respond to each of you individually. I may, however, create some newsletter articles out of people's responses or questions. I truly mean for this newsletter to be useful to you, so I want to know what interests you.
With my love and blessings all around,
Rue
"Profoundly light-hearted strategies for unsticking stuck stuff"
Soon I will be offering affordable teleclasses where you can meet people like you, a "place" where we can share a sense of community and belonging, and where we can work together to heal your life in ways that are important to you.
Teleclass Series 1 (Step Off the Beaten Path!) is for those of you who are ready to do some deep identity level work to heal old beliefs and patterns that are caging your life. These will be small classes, no larger than seven people, who will work together over 6-8 weeks, using my (really easy to read) new book, The 8 Master Keys for Healing What Hurts as a guide. If you have tried everything and are still in pain, physically, emotionally or both, this class is for you.
Teleclass Series 2 (Artful, Heartful EFT) is for you if you want to dramatically enhance your art of delivery and deepen your skills with using EFT for your own concerns or with others. This teleclass will be shorter, 5-6 weeks or perhaps one time per month, ongoing.
Please help me to design teleclasses that YOU want to attend!
Answer these questions:
• As a sensitive person, what concerns and issues do you most want help with resolving?
• Would you prefer regular monthly teleclasses, or a theme-based 5 week series?
Please share any other ideas you have about teleclasses. What is your idea of the very best teleclass ever?
I can't guarantee I'll be able to fulfill everyone's dream teleclass but I will always listen carefully to what each of you has to say, and together we can build teleclasses that work for YOU!
If you will send me an email answering these two questions, I will send you another ebook I wrote called Out, Rage! 5 Easy Steps to Feeling Better Right Now with EFT.
I love sharing the stories of the deep power of change in people's lives. These books are my way of giving a voice to that force of goodness flowing through our humanity.
If you are a practitioner of EFT, or any modality, for that matter, these books will help you to expand your perception, imagination and creativity to enhance your skill.
Read more here.
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© 2006 Rue Anne Hass, M.A., All rights reserved. You are free to use material from Rue's News that You Can Use for Artful, Heartful EFT in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution, including a live web site link. Please notify me at Rue@IntuitiveMentoring.com where the material will appear. The attribution should read:
"By Rue Anne Hass, M.A. of Intuitive Mentoring and I-Mentoring. Please visit Rue's web site at IntuitiveMentoring.com for additional articles and resources on EFT and Sensitive People." (Make sure the link is live if placed in an eZine or in a web site.)
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Profoundly lighthearted strategies for unsticking stuck stuff
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