Sheryl grew up with a fear of being hungry, and a belief that it is not safe to ask for what she wants.

“Not surprisingly, I have eating and food issues now. I know that it is best to eat when I am hungry, but I don’t know when I am hungry.” She paused. “Oh actually, I do know when I am hungry. It is just that I have not wanted to feel the feelings under the hunger. It doesn’t matter that my body is telling me that I don’t need more food. I don’t know when to quit, I don’t know when I am satisfied.”

Saying that reminded her of her partner‘s recent comment (not about food), “You are never satisfied. You always want more.” That really hurt. She felt that he was wrong, but she couldn’t quite articulate why.

I asked her how she would know when she was satisfied. “It is a feeling of peace for me,“ she said.

I noted that we often use the word “peace” to mean “when everything bad stops.” But I believe that we really want a generative state of being, that continually moves and grows, and births new, different creative directions. Peace is really a state of emergence and flow.

“That is exactly what “satisfied” fees like to me!” Sheryl exclaimed. “It feels like a fluid beginning.” I loved that phrase! Fluid beginning.