Think of how you make your way through your day.
There is probably a (maybe unspoken) question or comment hovering always in the back of your mind.

Is this you? In your daily life, which of these thoughts might be stuck in your thinking:

I don’t have enough_______________
I can’t be happy / successful until I get _______________
People will hurt me unless __________
I can’t let something good happen because _____________
In order to be liked, I have to ______________

GreenBasiliskLizardThe part of our minds that is thinking these thoughts is our “lizard brain,” what scientists call the reptilian brain. This part of our human brain evolved first, and its job is to continually test the environment for danger, food and love (well, sex, anyway), kind of like the snake’s tongue, always flicking in and out, gathering information, testing testing testing. If the lizard brain gets alarmed (and it is very easily triggered) it takes us instantly into one of three fear responses: fight, flight, or freeze.

I think we are all born with a tendency toward one or more of the “lack or attack” thoughts I listed above. They become the story we tell ourselves all day, and all night in our dreams, about who we are and what is (not) possible for us. Lack or attack thoughts become our “shadow.” They limit our actions. They limit our successes. They may be trying to keep us safe, but they cage us.

We seem to have two strategies for our favorite lack or attack stories. We use them as instruments of self torture, or we nurture and tend to them in a weirdly loving way.