“I deeply and completely accept myself”

What happens in you when you say this phrase? People who have done a lot of EFT can glibly let these words roll off our tongues without a second thought, and go right on to the next “Even though…” statement. But as a practitioner, if I am paying attention, often I find there is a kind of hesitation when someone says these words. It seems like a sort of dullness comes over them, and they are speaking mechanically without inhabiting the words.

Why is it easier to get emotionally involved in describing our problems in the “Even though” statement, while our attention seems to kind of drift off when we are stating our acceptance for ourselves?

I have heard people say that when they repeat the words over and over in EFT sessions and on their own, eventually they find less resistance to saying it, and it begins to feel more true. So there is value in repeating this statement, even if we may not totally believe it.

This is what EFT is all about – being able to believe ourselves when we say “I love and accept myself.” When someone admits to having a hard time with that set-up phrase I would ask, “What can you say about yourself that is believable to you?” I am willing for them to back off from the standard set up phrase as far as they need to go to find something to say. It may be “I am OK,” or “I am a good person inside.” Even those statements may be too much. I might try “I want to like myself,” or even “I want to want to like myself.”

So many of us grew up thinking, “Nothing I do can be good enough. I must not be good enough.” We probably came from parents who felt that way about themselves. Our grandparents may have had a version of the same belief. In fact, at least in the West, this belief is rampant. The Dalai Lama has expressed surprise at how widespread this self doubt is in our culture. But on the grand scale of things it just doesn’t make sense that we are here to prove to ourselves or anyone else that we are good and worthy.